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    (i) Helping your child reflect to better cope with future challenges

    Facing setbacks are never a pleasant experience. However, remind your child that these are good opportunities to learn and grow, and that they can tap on the strengths gained from these difficulties to overcome challenges they may face in the future.

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    A parent talking to their child

    How can you provide opportunities for your child to learn from experience?

    During their growing years, you can provide your child with opportunities to take risks, face challenges, and try new things to build their strengths. Through these, they can experience making thought-out decisions and solving problems on their own. They can also discover their strengths and build on these to gain confidence.

    A parent talking to their child

    Guide your child to break down their plans into smaller steps, specifying what they need to do or prepare to manage potential challenges. Consider writing these steps or reminders in a calendar or planner. You can also rehearse proposed solutions with them to help build their confidence.

    For example, when your child is going through a transition (e.g. to a new class, school, phase in life, etc.), you can guide them through the challenges they may face by:

    How can you help your child reflect on their existing strengths?

    When your child is faced with setbacks, you can have conversations using the language of resilience (I Am, I Can, I Have) with them to help them think about the past behaviours or actions they took to help them overcome a similar situation. This will help them reflect on and evaluate their strengths at this moment when they are dealing with difficulties or challenges.

    To help your child reflect, you can ask questions like:

    How did you feel the last time? What did you do to help manage these feelings?
    From this incident, what do you think are your strengths?
    Is <identified strength> a strength that you had all along? Or is it a new one that you have newly discovered about yourself?
    What can you do differently in future? How will this impact others?
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    As you help your child through their difficulties, remember to assure them that while there may be difficult times in life, they will learn and grow from those experiences.

    Remember to validate their experiences. Assure them they are not alone and ask if they would like to hear your own experiences.

    You can then share your personal experiences of times you had failed at something and how you had picked yourself up, persisted, and eventually overcame those challenges. You can also share how others have persevered through challenging times.