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    (ii) Discussing and setting goals with your child

    As you communicate with your child, they are likely to share their hopes for what they wish to achieve as well as difficulties and challenges they may face. In these times, you can take the opportunity to discuss and set goals together with them. As you and your child work together towards their goals, your parent-child relationship can also grow stronger.

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    How do you set effective goals with your child?

    To set realistic goals that your child can work towards, try the S.M.A.R.T. framework, which stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound.

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    Specific

    What is your goal? Why did you set this goal?


    For example, instead of "I want to run fast", you can guide your child to set a more specific goal such as "I want to run 1.6km in 10 minutes"

    Measurable

    How do you track your progress towards your goal?


    For example, you can ask your child "How will you know that you are running faster and getting closer to completing 1.6km in 10 minutes?"

    Achievable

    How are you going to achieve your goal? What can you do to ensure you can achieve it?


    For example, you can ask your child "What steps can you take to run 1.6km in 10 minutes?"

    Realistic

    Is it possible to run 1.6 km in 10 minutes by doing what you shared?


    For example, you can ask your child "Is it possible that by doing what you shared you can run 1.6km in 10 minutes?"

    Time-bound

    When do you need to reach this goal? How urgent is it for you to reach it?


    For example, you can ask your child "When do you want to achieve running 1.6km in 10 minutes?"
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    What are some things to take note of when helping your child set goals?

    When having a conversation with your child about goal setting, remember to:

    • Start by asking them to share what they hope to achieve or do, before giving suggestions or advice

    • As every child is different, spend time getting to know your child, and support their development in line with their strengths and weaknesses - rather than what you, your child, or other people might think they should achieve to be "successful"

    • If your child seems to be imposing very high expectations on themselves, guide them to set more realistic goals by looking at their past progress, where they are now, and the next goal they can achieve

    • Assure them they need not be perfect and should just try their best

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    • You can provide support by breaking down difficult tasks into manageable ones

      • For example, if your child is struggling to think of how they can make friends, break it down into simple steps such as approaching their classmates to talk to them or asking if they can sit together during recess

    A parent monitoring their child using the internet

    • As your support and approval are important to your child, they may feel upset or disappointed when they do not meet the goals that they initially set out with you

    • Empathise with them by letting them know it is okay to feel disappointed

    • Remember to also encourage them by praising and celebrating their improvements and progress towards the goals you had set together

      • This shows your child you care about their effort and commitment to work towards their goals more than their ability to achieve a specific result

    A parent monitoring their child using the internet