How can you improve the way you interact with your child?
To be more aware of the way you communicate and interact with your child, take some time to reflect on the following:
When you interact with your child, how do the interactions usually go? How would you like the interactions to be?
What do you value more for your child (e.g. honesty, being kind and respectful to others, making friends, doing well in studies, managing emotions)? How might that affect the way you respond to your child when they act against these values?
For example, your child spent time supporting a friend who was upset, resulting in your child not being able to complete their school project on time. The values which you want your child to have are hard work and diligence; they demonstrated care and value for friendship instead. How would you address this with your child?
What topics usually result in more heated discussions or tense conversations with your child? What can you do to approach these topics with more sensitivity?
What helps you and your child calm down when your interactions become tense?
When speaking to your child about behaviours you hope they can adopt, explain how they are in line with the values you want them to have, instead of focusing on their undesirable behaviours.
Communicating your values and intentions clearly will help your child understand your rationale on desirable behaviours, prevent misunderstandings, and build a positive relationship with them over time.
Take a look at the comic strip below to see how this can play out in a conversation between a parent and her child.
Keep in mind that no parent-child relationship is perfect. Sometimes, stressful situations or events can lead you to behave in ways that are inconsistent with the kind of parent you wish to be. Like your child, you, too have your ups and downs, so be kind to yourself. Remember what is important to you as a parent and re-align your actions to what you value.